A new take

Bumbling around net-a-porter the other day and came across this.  What a cute alternative to a diamond engagement ring!  I admit, the price is still up there ($1500), but it's super cute!  It spells out "marry me" in a pretty little cursive.

Not too shabby...

So we lost. Not terribly surprising (see 25.5 point spread), but Lehigh still made a damn good showing considering the odds. After the first 5 minutes I was expecting to see them go down 35-105, but they pulled out a respectable 90-74 loss against Kansas (aka basketball powerhouse). I'm proud of you, Mountain Hawks.

Go Lehigh!

So Lehigh made it to March Madness. They play Kansas in 2 minutes. The point spread is 25.5, so the likelihood of a win is slim to none. But Ari and I are here at the bar cheering them on like the good alumni we are. The people around us seem confused. Go Lehigh, nonetheless.

The Name Game

It has been ::ahem:: brought to my attention that perhaps I've gone off on a bit of a tangent in here in blogland.  I promise it's not all shoes and shiny things that occupy my mind (though they do have a place, mind you).

Anyhow, as I wade through this whole wedding planning process, I have approached the question of tradition (as in, "But everyone throws a bouquet/cuts a cake/wears a white dress, so you just have to."  "Why?"  "Because it's a wedding, you just do.") with thoughtfulness, attempting to weigh the value of the tradition against the personal importance of the custom.  Sometimes something is important because the tradition adds a certain feeling to the act.  For instance, I am wearing a white dress because it feels bridal.  I took the time to learn about the history of the custom and found that contrary to popular belief, white is not symbolic of purity and virginity (side note: brides in past centuries often wore blue wedding gowns as that was supposed to represent purity).  The custom of white gowns was popularized by Queen Victoria who wore white because she had some lace she wanted to use!  I decided my clothing choice had nothing to do with my moral virtue and mostly with the emotional construct created by my society that I chose to participate in.

All that said, being married is more than getting married.  There's all the day-to-day stuff that actually makes up a marriage.  Those days are influenced by all sorts of things.  You, your spouse, your society, your opinions.  Many decisions you make as you enter into a marriage are reflected throughout its duration.  In that light, my biggest decision is what to do about my name.

Here's the sitch:

• Ari doesn't care one way or the other if I take his name, but doesn't want to take mine.
• I already have two last names, Momslastname and Dadslastname.  And I have a middle name.
• In my generation of cousins (my sister and I and my aunts' kids) there are no boys to carry on the Dadslastname.  I have no idea if Dad cares about this fact at all.
• My mom kept her name, so there's no pressure from my parents from that standpoint, one way or the other.
• I don't really love my last name, or Ari's, I'm kinda ambivalent at all.
• That said, I'm picky about names when I can pick.
• I don't want to hyphenate.  Or have five names (It's hard enough to fit on official forms as it is.  My driver's license can't fit even three.)
• I really really want to have the same last name as the rest of my nuclear family.  To me, it's like a team, a unity thing.  I'm not worried about having a different name from my kids (though the fact that the kids get the dad's name when the mother gives birth is a whole other can of worms I plan to leave open for another time), I just like the idea of having a common identity with the person I chose and the people we will (eventually, hopefully, someday in the faraway future) make.

The easiest way out would be to take Ari's name.  People are assuming I will, and to do it would certainly simplify many things.  But the feminist in me absolutely hates that idea and turns into kicking, screaming, protesting child when I consider it.  It doesn't make me feel more wifely to give up my name (I realize that might be crucial, that I view it as giving up my name rather than taking his.  Though I do think that given the choice to select the name I assumed would assuage this discomfort.)  What's important to me is having the same name, not that the name be his.  And frankly, I resent the gender hierarchy in Western society that dictates that the male's name take import over the female.  We don't live in a time where women are their husband's property (thank goodness!), so why continue this archaic tradition?

What I would be most happy with (and to merely say happy is an understatement) is for both Ari and I to create or select a new name together and assume that name when we get married (I wouldn't care if he kept his last name as a middle name, but I likely wouldn't, see the second-to-last bullet point).  He has begrudgingly agreed that if I come up with something "totally awesome" he'd "consider it."  He really doesn't want to change his name.  I can't say I really blame him for feeling that way.  His name is part of his identity and he was raised with the societal patriarchy of names.  I know I should respect his feelings, but I don't know how to navigate this when he and I feel so differently.  I suppose this truly is our first foray into marriage.

So here are the options:

1. Keep my name
2. Take his
3. Ari and I both take some new assumed name

Any way it works out, I really want to decide the matter.  It's really stressing me out (though it likely shouldn't).  But I also really want to know how to address the return labels for all this wedding crap (save the dates, invitations, etc.) we have to mail.

So please, what do you think I should do?  Alternatively, got any awesome suggestions for my new last name?

I think I need to take an upholstery class.

Because, um, hell yes.

You go, girl!

Had to pop in to have a quick brag.  My little sister just got her acceptance to American University!  She's five for five and just waiting on three more schools.  She's so damn smart, I'm so proud of you Samara!

Silver on the brain

{Prepare yourself, Erik.  More shoes lie ahead.  Don't say I didn't warn you.}

So Mouse posted these shoes yesterday, and I am loving them.  And of course, I spent the next hour trolling Nordy's for more shoes.  What did we learn from this?  I am feeling silver shoes.  Here's the results of my search, in decreasing order of comfort:

Mouse's pick, the Seychelles 'Get Outta Town' Sandal for $79.95.

At first I thought these looked really awesome, now I'm not as certain.  What do you think?  The heel is a really perfect 2" but they are mules, which complicates things a little (though my favorite shoes are too, so I guess it's not as big a deal as I thought).  They're the J. Reneé 'Parisa' Peep Toe Mule for $89.95.

Last are the ones I love the most, but probably couldn't wear successfully for more than 10 minutes.  I mean, they do have a 1.5" platform, but they have a 5" heel.  I know myself, and 3.5" is just too much to ask for me to wear all night of my wedding (where priority #1 is dance my face off) and I can't justify the $355 price tag for shoes just to wear for the ceremony, even these lovely Stuart Weitzman 'Avalon' Platform Pumps.  Plus, that would complicate things for dress hemming, so really they're just eye candy.  Please buy them so I can live vicariously through you.  Please?

Which is your favorite?

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today is a very important day, it's my mom's birthday.  My mom, is an amazing person.  Kind, generous, talented, created, selfless and just all around awesome.  She is a teacher and a student.  She's my family and my friend.  I trust her to tell me what's what, push me when I need it, and hug me when it's over.  She has spent the last 23 years making me into the smart, independent woman I like to think I'm becoming.  Plus, she's a damn fine artist!

There are no true words for how special you are to me Mom, I love you!

You can find her and her art at Artistkaren.com and KarenFriedland.com.

I knew this was coming.

Did someone say anthro wedding?  Well, whether they did or not, weddings imspired by the store have been cropping up all over and now it's happening for real.  That's right kiddies, the clothing/housewares/random stuff emporiums Urban Outfitters, Inc. is starting a new chain of wedding stores with the same design aesthetic as their sister stores Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie.

Wedding gowns are set to base at $750.  Sales will begin online spring 2011 and brick and mortar stores are set to crop up soon after.  Check out the full story on fashionista.

Half-Year

Today is March 5th, 2010.  Exactly six months from today, I will put on a white dress, walk out in front of my friends and family and promise myself to the love of my life.  I'm not sure what to say here.  I was planning a lovely technical recap of my to-do list, both checked off and still pending.  But I started with that sentence, and now all I want to do is wax poetic about the man who will be my husband.

He is the one that lets me be myself just a little bit better.  We leave each other notes in suitcases and purses when we part.  Tonight we made dinner together and folded laundry and honestly, it was great.  He rubs my back when I'm sore and tells me he loves me.  He smells so good, smells like home.  In the quiet moments, it pops into my head that we're getting married and I giggle like a child.  He smiles at me.  And six months from today, we'll smile at each other as I walk towards him.  We'll laugh, and in all likelihood, we'll cry.  We'll be honest and heartfelt.  I will try, like I always do, to find the right combination of words, to truly convey to him just how much I love this man.  It won't matter that I'll have an audience.  I won't get it quite right, but that's ok.  Isn't the point of marriage committing yourself to a lifetime of trying to explain to your person just how much you love them?

I guess the checklist waits until tomorrow.

She rocked a ponytail

and I totally loved it.  This Italian bride is so stunning and pulls of an everyday hairstyle with aplomb.  Makes me think twice about doing something really elaborate in favor of something simple and classic.  How are you doing your hair?

Image by Leigh Miller via Snippet and Ink.

Tropic Jewel Tones

That's what this inspiration board reminds me of.  I try not to repost things like this, but damn, this board was just really awesome.  The color scheme, the photos and the arrangement were just perfectly executed.  So check it out.  And when your done, have a gander at the original post over on lovely Flights of Fancy, the inspiration blog for the Betsy White Stationary line.

 

Photo Credits:

row 1: Cheyenne Schultz via Green Wedding Shoes | Jose Villa | J. Mendel
row 2: Carter Smith via {a glamorous little side project} | Josef Isayo via Flower Wild

Inspiration board via Flights of Fancy.

Coast

I came across this site a few days ago and was instantly hooked.  I'm not sure if the store has been in the UK for a while and is now just coming to the US, or if the whole thing is new, but damn, Coast dresses are awesome.

Cynthia Printed Maxi ($385), Tigre Maxi ($330)

Angeline ($200), Merenge ($320), Harriet ($250), Rumba ($295)

Really, as soon as I saw that Harriet dress with that killer drape, I was sold.  Rumba is the ultimate little black dress, the seaming, the boatneck, the pencil skirt... meow!

 Bridgette ($425), Savannah ($425)

They have so much great stuff, even a sizeable selection of white and silver/off-white/ivory, etc. dresses, both long and short that would be great for wedding dresses and they're all pretty reasonably priced.  Each has a nice little detail that really compliments the simplicity of the dresses.

 

Charlie Chain Earrings ($32), Sharnna Earrings ($40)

While I was thinking weddings I went to have a poke around the rest of the site.  They have some great jewelry.  I'm thinking about these two pairs for my own wedding.

 

Bonnie Fascinator ($100), Maria Fascinator ($85)

And if you're not really a veil kinda girl, or looking for something funky to wear after the ceremony, Coast has some cute fascinators too.  Bloomingdale's in New York stocks themnow, and you can bet that next time I'm home in NYC, it'll will be one of my first stops.

Now, I was going to wait until tomorrow morning to post this, but I just couldn't justify the delay after seeing this.  From now until tomorrow (3/4/10) take 20% all online and standalone store purchases with the code mytreat.  It works on everything but sales, gift cards and shipping.  I'm finding it a lot harder to say no to those earrings...

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss

Theodore Seuss Geisel was born on March 2, 1904.  Had he not died in 1991, Dr. Seuss would have been 106 today.  I couldn't resist sharing a few favorites of his choicest quotes.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

When I was a kid, we had this video that I watched all the time.  Kathy Najimy was in it, it was awesome.  She played a nosy reporter who gets sucked into the world of Dr. Seuss' stories.  They set some of them to music, there's puppets and cartoons.  You learn all about his life as a child, early adulthood working in advertising and his political involvements.  They close with this quote, and though it always makes me a little sad, I feel like it is a great summation for a whole host of things.

"How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?"

A love letter

...to my new shoes.  Seriously, I'm obsessed.  They're so pretty.  I'm sitting here at the dining room table in my pajamas and hoodie with my sweet thick socks with moose (mooses?) on them and having to convince myself that I cannot put them on until I am actually appropriately dressed. 

They're red suede Steve Maddens.  The heel is wide enough that I don't fall over, but not clunky enough to look like the bride of Frankenstein or a pre-teen pseudo-punk princess.  They have an adorable ruffle right down the front.  And get this, they were on massive sale.  I paid a whole lot less than they're selling for on the internet ($69 at Dillards here).  They're only selling in black now.  Check 'em out.

Next stop?  Date night.  I knew I believed in true love.

White For Less Green: Gold Hawk

Someone cooler than me totally needs to wear this dress.  Really, it's silk and $118!  I loves me some (well done, mind you) one shoulder action and this gets it done for sure.  Thank me later.

 

Get it here from Gilt.  Leave me a comment if you need a Gilt invite!

*Full disclosure, they only have XS and L sizes left in the ivory.  Go!  Quick like a bunny!